I am one of the statistics - but I was one of the lucky ones.  I was able to get myself and my children out of the violence before someone was killed.  Even though we are now physically safe, we struggle every day to heal from the past abuse.  It is a long and difficult path to make sense of why someone we loved would hurt us so badly and to learn to live with the many scars left behind.  As I watch my children grow and heal, it is clear to me that being a child and experiencing domestic violence is 100 percent more damaging to the child than it is for an adult who grew up in a non-violent family and married into it. 

I also understand the depth of the trap that IS domestic violence, and I know that it is often nearly a super-human feat for a woman to escape, especially once you have children with the abuser.  This is why I believe it is of the utmost importance for people to be educated concerning violence in the home.  Friends and families must know how to spot the red flags of D.V., and then know how to help.

The reason I named this site 'duh Truth' is because, as an outsider to the violence you'd think it was a no-brainer that you don't stay in a relationship with an abusive person (duh!). You'd think it was a no-brainer  that a parent shouldn't abuse their child, that a seemingly doting husband wouldn't go home and terrorize his family ...(duh!)  Often when you watch a news report concerning domestic violence, when they interview the neighbor it's nearly always the same: "I'm really surprised, I thought things were OK...they were really good kids, kinda kept to themselves though..."  You can't blame the public because domestic violence seems to nurture an 'anti-survival' mode of living - where victims seem to 'help' the abuser cover things up - while at the same time, those IN the violence, consciously and unconsciously, spend all their waking energy thinking about how to survive the next moment.   Seriously weird to those who don't have to deal with it - serious problem for those who do.

Since domestic violence is a growing problem - now affecting at least 1 in 5 people in the United States alone - it is urgent that all people be educated about it.  We need early education as well so that those children who don't have a mother strong enough to escape can find their own way out of the violence. 

This site is a seed planted to grow awareness.  If even one frightened child, confused teenager,  hurting woman, or worried family member can use it to find help, then I will have been able to honor my family, friends, and community that stood by and supported me and my children as we found our way to peace and safety.